The company was founded by Mike Cessna, who was inspired by his own experience working in the energy drink industry. It is then enhanced with electrolytes and minerals.
The water is sourced from the Sierra Nevada Mountains and is filtered six times. Liquid death is a brand of canned water that is marketed as an alternative to energy drinks. It is sometimes used as a form of execution because it is so poisonous. It is made from distilled spirits and is usually clear in color. But for those of you that are punk rock like me, well, you get it.Liquid death is a type of alcohol that is very potent and can cause death if consumed in large quantities. For those of you that are reading this, listening to Hootie and the Blowfish, shopping at a sans-serif store like Kohl’s, and picking hop leaves from your teeth, I’m not going to be able to explain it. On the bottom of each can of Liquid Death, it says, MURDER YOUR THIRST.
So does Costco.īefore I get too worked up, I’ll leave you with this. The suburbs, by the way, are not hardcore. It sounds like it would rip your tongue right out of your mouth and leave you bleeding for more. Does a chainsaw sound sweet? No, motherfucker. Brutal! None of that corn syrup bullshit! It only tastes sweet to you because you’ve been swallowing mouthfuls of nasty hops all afternoon. It says right on the label that it’s made with AGAVE NECTAR FOR MORE BRUTAL FLAVOR. But the fact of the matter is it’s not sweet. You weren’t expecting Liquid Death Mango Chainsaw Sparkling Water to taste so sweet. You take a sip and spit all over Craig’s patio. Holding the can aloft, you think, Hmm, that’s a strange-looking orange. You reach into the cooler that’s been designated “soda” with a piece of tape and pull out a Liquid Death Mango Chainsaw Sparkling Water. In quick succession, you have two thoughts it’d be a good idea to tell Craig what you really think of his cooking “skills,” and it’d be a better idea to sober up a bit. He’s going on and on about how he dumps a packet of ranch dressing into just about everything he cooks. Craig, the host, is bragging about his potato salad while you’re working your way through a mixed case of IPAs that you bought from Costco. Now let’s pretend it’s Saturday afternoon in the Midwest. I should also mention only posers would buy a shirt at a show. Ever heard of a tallboy of milk? No? Didn’t think so! And if you weren’t so drunk, you’d realize the word tallboy is objectively rad. The can’s enormous, all 16.9 fluid ounces of it. So the can might look tiny or like one of those slim seltzers with alcohol. Now, I have big hands, massive really-it’s a genetic thing. I’m in the middle of the fray-God, I look cool, full-tilt punk rock, crushing skulls, and holding a can of Liquid Death Mango Chainsaw Sparkling Water. You’re by the merch booth checking out the T-shirts when you spot me in the mosh pit. If you can’t recognize that as badass, you’re probably just a sheep that only purchases products from the millions of safe sans-serif brands like Jeep, and Spotify. I’m talking huge, evil, died in the gutter serifs. That’s some serious Edgar Allan Poe shit. And trust me, as someone who is wearing a spiked dog collar as I type this, skulls are the epitome of cool.Īlso, look at the heavy black lettering. See that gnarly skull disintegrating as if it were gleefully heading toward-not away from, but toward-a nuclear explosion? If you’re a square, you might mistake the skull for some sort of wimpy fruit. But as a genuine straight-edge punk, I’m here to say that the new Liquid Death Mango Chainsaw Non-Alcoholic Sparkling Water branding is not only hardcore, but it tastes wickedly good too.ĭon’t believe me? Check out the graphics on the can. Their “evil mission” downright patronizing. To someone outside the scene, someone who isn’t hip, Liquid Death’s water-in-a-can packaging might appear to be a gimmick.
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